Voice week is a challenge where I pick a scenario/prompt and write around 100 words in the heads of five different characters for five days in a row. I'll be exercising my writer 'voice' hence the name Voice Week.
I've had so much fun reading other posts for this thing...it almost stopped me from making my own tonight!
But anyways, onwards to the writing!
The purple, star speckled sky reflects off the puddle on the ground beneath my feet. Stars shouldn't be below me, they should be above me as high and as mighty as they are. I don't deserve to be on top. I'm not strong enough.
Ripples scatter the stars as I step through the water and look up instead. A shooting star streaks through space just in time for my eye to catch it. I used to always make a wish whenever I saw one. When did I last see one? Has it been that long or have I forgotten the simple pleasures already?
Yep, it's short. 100 words is less than you might think.
If you want to read more excepts like this, check out the Voice Week blog. I highly recommend it, I really enjoyed going through them myself :)
Oooh, I like this. This is someone who has been through a lot, has lost confidence in themselves, and is possibly carrying guilt as well. They are maybe just beginning to remember to enjoy the beauty in life again. I get the sense this is a woman, but it could go either way. Can't wait to read the next one!
ReplyDeleteYou're correct on everything. So glad you enjoyed it :)
DeleteUntil the last couple of sentences, I pictured the narrator as a girl, or a young woman (why female? no idea) but by the end, I had her a good bit older, possibly middle-aged.
ReplyDeleteThis is a strong beginning, but to what? I shall look forward to seeing more of this.
Maybe the change in perspective came with the phrase, "I used to always make a wish whenever I saw one."?
DeleteThanks for commenting :)
What a sad, lonely voice, Brilliantly painted in few words.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much!
DeleteThey say it's lonely at the top. This almost read like poetry. Well done! Glad you didn't stop from writing it. :)
ReplyDeleteTo hear it read almost like poetry is a huge compliment! I'm so glad you enjoyed it ^ ^
DeleteWow this week seems to be all about the self-doubt. I love watching this character compare themselves to the stars, and how the ripples give them an illusion of control, but then they crash back to earth when they look up. Great stuff - glad you decided to go ahead and post afterall
ReplyDeleteThank you :) I'm glad you were able to pick up on the symbolism!
DeleteA lot of angst in these few words. It will be interesting to find out how this plays out
ReplyDeleteSometimes it only takes 100 words to express such angst. Thanks for commenting :)
DeleteSomeone who is carrying a lot of pain and weariness. Very nicely written. :)
ReplyDeleteWeariness is a word I hadn't thought of but you're totally right! Thank you :)
DeleteBeautifully done. I am eager to read more.
ReplyDeleteThanks!
DeleteLoneliness. That's what I get, here.
ReplyDeleteLoneliness is most definitely here. Thanks for the comment ^ ^
DeleteI like this a lot. This person seems unsure, contemplative and introspective. Like maybe they have a lot to think about. Very lovely, the imagery of the stars is so good I can see it.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you can see the imagery! Thank you :)
DeleteHey, Casia!
ReplyDeleteI've read all your 'voice week 2014' posts, and this is, by far, the best! If it's not in the combination of vivid imagery you used, of "scattering ripples" and "star speckled skies", then it's the inlaid symbolism of the entire scenario - which I think is trying to communicate a sense of despair and self-doubt.
Overall, your work shows a lot of literary promise.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it. Thank you so much, this is a huge compliment!
DeleteLove the imagery. ^ ^ I get a sense that this person isn't very confident and perhaps troubled.
ReplyDeleteStori Tori's Blog
Yes, they're both those .
DeleteThank you!